ASIO Headquarters

There's a fair bit of conjecture over the new Asio building on Constitution Ave. It's being built at the moment between Wendouree Drive and Blamey Crescent and it's big.....big and ugly. It's not really going to fit in with the Griffin plan....but it's ASIO, even the National Capital Authority can't tell those guys what to do.

I still reckon it's a bit weird to have this massive headquarters to our spy agency slap bang in the middle of town...if for no other reason that, all the bad guys will know where it is. You can't miss it.

Sometimes I think we could do with a cone of silence here. Of course the the current ASIO headquarters is at a secret location. But seeing as the cat is well and truly out of the bag now, I may as well tell you that the current ASIO headquarters is actually disguised as Checkers Food Van on Chandler Street at Belconnen. Most uninformed onlookers believe that this is just a caravan that cooks up chips and gravy, bacon and egg rolls and cheesy hot dogs with lashings of barbecue sauce in the dead of night.

They are so wrong. Those guys who are cooking up the late night fare are trained killers in the vein of Ethan Hunt or Jason Bourne. There's a trapdoor by the chip fryer in the food van which leads to a tunnell. The tunnell goes straight down to the underground headquarters of ASIO.

Sure the guys in the food van will cook up whatever you want for them....and it's a part of their training to know how much gravy to smother on those chips and exactly how to melt the cheese on those hotdogs....but they're really the gatekeepers to one of the best kept secrets in this town. They're waiting for someone to say the entry code phrase which I can reveal right here, right now.

"Can I have a hot dog, with cheese, bacon and a dollop of shaving cream please."

That is the phrase. If you say those words at Checkers Food Van, the guy in the caravan will look at you and say, "Would you like some wood shavings with that ?"

At that point you have to say, "Will that cost me extra ?"

He'll say, "Nah that's on the house" and then he'll open the back door for you.

Try it out this weekend. But don't tell anyone who you suspect as being with the other side.